Relationships Nowadays

Relationships always required time, effort, & love to make it work. But nowadays it seems like they fall apart a lot easier. People are so quick to throw in the towel instead of working out the issues. They rather walk away because it’s simpler, but how can anything last when no one is willing to put in the effort?

We see others saying things like “relationship goals” or “I hope to one day have a relationship like yours.” 

Why compare YOUR relationship to someone else? Your ‘relationship goals’ should be original and unique. You should want to make your OWN goals instead of studying others. Remember, not everything you see is true, so why want to be like someone else? If you continue to think this way instead of striving to build your own, your relationship will not flourish. Take all that effort of wanting what they have and put it into your own relationship. I promise that outcome will benefit you & yours the most.

Another reason relationships are falling apart is social media. People are putting more effort in checking their notifications rather than checking on their partner.

Have you ever gone out to a restaurant and saw a couple paying no attention to each other as they scroll through their phones?

What’s even the point if you aren’t going to enjoy each other’s company? Are your social media platforms that much more important than the person sitting across from you? For some of us, we may not even notice we are condoning in this behavior, but for others, it happens every time. Our phones tend to be the center of our attention and this can be very distracting when you are out with your significant other. You are showing you rather put your time and effort into someone/something else online rather than what’s in front of you.

As millennials, we need to learn how to put the phones down. We want a relationship that is everlasting and full of love, but we aren’t willing to put in the effort or the time ourselves. We rather scroll through our news feed and like pictures of what other people are doing rather than giving the person we love the time of day. And we rather hashtag relationship goals under a photo instead of making our own goals.

Honesty, trust, and respect are hard to come by nowadays. Value what you have before it’s gone and work on what’s in front of you rather than finding something else to give your efforts to. Relationships are not easy, but if you aren’t putting in the work (time, effort, & love), then you can’t be surprised by your end result.

Xox

La Flare

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Delicate Thoughts — M. Ballard

64 thoughts on “Relationships Nowadays

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  1. This was such a good read, and so true with what you’re saying! We need to disconnect ourselves from the world around is and social media and start focusing on our own relationships!

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  2. Love this post! It is so true what you are saying. I sometimes think about how lovely it must have been to have relationships like my grandparents. My Nan still to this day gets so happy to talk about her relationship with my Grandad.

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  3. I really enjoyed this post. It’s true, people pay more attention to their phone than their significant other and it always makes me so sad to see. I’m on my phone a lot, but I always try and keep it away when I’m out with my boyfriend. Us young people need to get it together!

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  4. This is a great post. Relationships do require time and effort and they do need work. I hate it when I’m on a date, or even out with friends and family, and they start looking at their phone. I feel like we are there to spend time together, not spend the time looking at our phones. Are phones more interesting than making real life connections?

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  5. Great post! When my husband and I were first dating, we were 16 and it was during the rise of social media. I remember seeing other couples posting sappy and cute statuses and wishing my then-boyfriend would do something similar, to show his interest online too. It took a bit of an adjustment period for me to really see the harm in that comparison and get over that shallow desire to get attention online, but I’m so glad I did. Yikes. Now, I see the cute things, like, smile for the other people, and move on. And I enjoy my husband and his company and attention in real time. Life is better that way, by far.

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    1. Thanks so much for reading! I completely get what you’re saying. I do hope your husband shows some kind of love your way on his social media platforms though. He should be proud to show you off.💖

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      1. He doesn’t have an Instagram or Twitter, and only has a FB that he hasn’t logged onto in about 3 years, lol, so I don’t feel so bad. It’d be a different story if he was a regular user and posted about all else constantly! It was a nice surprise when he updated his profile picture to one from our wedding day. Thanks, that’s so sweet! 🙂

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      2. Gotcha! Yeah that’s acceptable then. I thought he was actively on there & not posting of you. That would definitely be shady, but honestly him not using any social media sounds awesome. Lol sounds like he doesnt need to post & check his every move! Always a plus! Wish yall the best!

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  6. I love how honest and straightforward you are in this post. I get the impression that a lot of relationships among millennials have more emphasis on getting moments for social media and vanity purposes. “Oh look how happy me and my boyfriend are” “Look at what me and my girlfriend have recently done” rather than trying to figure eacu other out and how compatible they are with. I’m not saying they’re shallow or not genuine but I don’t think they’re getting the basics of a relationship nailed down and truth is – most other people don’t really care about what other people post on socials relationship-wise (I don’t at least). They’re trying to keep a certain image themselves which is a problem with social media itself too.
    Johnny | Johnny’s Traventures
    https://johnnystraventures.com

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    1. Thanks so much for your feed back! I completely agree about couples posting for social media. Sometimes they make it seem like something they are not & like you said, some people only want to maintain a certain image. It’s sad honestly. But sometimes you dont know what you have til it’s gone 🤦🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

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  7. Awesome post! Relationships nowadays are so different and it’s interesting when speaking with my parents and even kids of 10 year difference the perspectives. I’ll just focus my attention on my pets for now 😅.

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  8. Love how real this is. I get questioned a lot when I tell people I want old fashion real love where you actually put work and effort into one another. Millennials are very caught up on themselves which, as a fellow millennial, I understand completely. We have a lot of shit against us, but relationships is something we can gain control of and it’s meant to be pleasurable.

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    1. I couldn’t agree more ! I think its important for us to put our phones down when hanging out with others. It shows we value their time as well! I hate being out and constantly on my phone or around people that are on their phone the entire time. Being in a relationship like that is just worse ! Thank you so much for reading !!

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  9. Great post! I agree with the importance of face to face conversations and quality time with others! My friends and I have tried this “game” a few times where we meet for dinner and all put our phones in the middle of the table. Then we go through the rest of the night not touching or looking at them, whoever touches their phone first has to pay for everyone else’s dinner😂. We actually made it through a few meals like this!

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    1. That’s awesome ! I saw something like that before in a meme, but the fact you all do that is great ! It makes dinner that much better though. Imagine if everyone was ok their phones the entire time. I might have to partake in this with my friends.😂 thank you so much for reading !❤❤☺️☺️

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  10. Being happily married, I realize I’m luckier than most. Still, I know that I’m at times too lost in the social media world when I should be paying attention to what’s actually happening around me. A good reminder to focus on what is most important: our loved ones.

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    1. Thank you so much for reading ! And I completely agree ! It’s hard dating in today’s world. Especially when people are so wrapped up in their phones.

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  11. I love this post. I wholehearredly agree that social media can really destroy relationships if you let them. It does feel like the generation of being together forever is gone – I hope not as me and my husband talk about the days when we become grandparents. I think the whole celebrity doesn’t help – they are giving up on relationships after mere months.

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  12. This is such an important point that I think everyone needs to stop and consider. My husband and I realized that we were struggling with being so busy with work, commitments, etc that we weren’t giving the necessary time to our relationship, so we instituted a new rule for us – Once a month we get away somewhere for a weekend. It doesn’t matter if we’re just hitting a local Bed & Breakfast, heading out camping (which is most of the year) or taking off for a road trip, but we have to do SOMETHING together.

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  13. Some relationships certainly can be over quickly and the people in them don’t work through any issues but ultimately, if that is how they approached their time together, they probably weren’t with someone compatible after all. If it really is worth it, no amount of issues or challenges would make it so easy to throw in the towel.

    Really interesting post!

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  14. Excellent post!!! People don’t seem to care enough these days, I’m so blessed with my guy bc we never argue for 4 years and 4 months we have been together. We are HONEST and we COMMUNICATE and that should be your foundation. I wrote a post on soul connect.

    I saw your Twitter and followed you there and I appreciate you returning the favor. I commented, followed and RT your post and your blog, your post!

    Thank you!

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  15. Yes to all of this! We hold couples we see online in such high esteem, when we’re only seeing the good things they put on social media. They don’t post anything about their fights, where they see themselves as a couple in the future, etc. Plus, with online dating apps like Tinder and things like ghosting, we’re more likely to crap out on a relationship these days. Everything seems disposable and like we can find another relationship just by swiping again, without really putting in any effort. And relationships REQUIRE effort. And I agree 100% about putting your phone away! I make it a point even when I’m seeing my friends to put my phone away and just enjoy my company with them. That should be the number one rule with couples: put your phone down and focus on each other.
    Brilliant post and really thought provoking!
    Emily | https://www.thatweirdgirllife.com

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    1. I couldn’t agree more with all of what you said! My best friend & I were literally just having this convo today about people throwing in the towel on their relationship & ruining it for a good time or just don’t care to put in any effort anymore. It’s so sad how shit is today. I feel like technology has helped us in ways, but also divided us. Thank you so much for reading !🖤🖤🖤

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  16. Relationships are hard work. A lot of people also jump really quickly into them and progress them so fast without really knowing the other individual. It’s a challenge indeed.

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  17. I 100% agree people nowadays throw in the towel too easy, im probably apart of that problem whereby if something needs fixing, i probably wont fix it! Defo something i need to work on!

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  18. I havent been in a romantic relationship before and have always craved being in one but I’ve read a lot of posts from other bloggers about the state of relationships today and they say the same things you said: that people don’t take the time and effort but instead take the easy route out, they compare themselves with others, spend excessive time on social media. I think with dating apps and social media there’s more options for people so people are more inclined to leave relationships whilst back in past decades social media and apps didnt exist, people had to stick around more often. Very very fascinating read :),

    Johnny | Johnny’s Traventures
    https://johnnystraventures.com

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