How Does It All End?

We tend to use phrases like “until I die” or when people get married, one of the vows are “until death do us part.” But what does this even mean? How does anyone know what it’s like to experience death if we’re still alive? How can you say what will happen if you never even been? Does anyone else think about death daily? Because I do.

I find myself constantly wondering what will happen once my time is up. What will I see and where will I go? Is there really a heaven & hell? Will I burn forever with Satan or will I join my Dad and my other loved ones in heaven? Will my spirit live on or will I be reincarnated? THIS SHIT WORRIES ME!

I know I think too deeply into this at times. I’m not sure if it’s because of the passing of my father that has me so worried about death, but I never used to stress this as much as I do now. I worry about my mother, my boyfriend, and my close friends dying. Fuck, I worry about MYSELF dying. It’s not like anyone is prepared for that moment. Most of the time, it happens so suddenly and that alone scares me. There’s many things to achieve, but “life” can be taken away from you so quickly. It just makes me really sad to think about.

Every year we all grow older. I used to LOVE celebrating my birthday (I still do of course) but it just makes me realize that my mother is aging each year as well. I know it’s life and we all get old, but I can’t imagine losing my mom. She is the last I really have in this world as far as family and once her time is up, I’m not sure where I belong. That day will be hell on Earth for me. I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it now. Death is scary and I’m scared to die. I’m scared to watch the people I love die. I watched my father die. I cannot go through that again. I can’t.

And everyday, I worry about this….

It might be stupid to some, but others will understand.

Death is one of the realest parts of life. It’s a constant reminder that everything and anything you love can be taken away from you at any given time.

Always kiss your loved ones goodbye & never hesitate to tell them how much they mean to you…..

“The trouble is, you think you have time.”

Sunrise in Malibu, California 2/13/2018
La Flare

29 thoughts on “How Does It All End?

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  1. A couple of years ago I saw my father die as well. It’s the sort of thing that changes who you are forever. People who haven’t experienced that will never be able to understand. It’s normal to worry about death. After all, it’s the only thing we have absolutely zero control over. It gives life and time more value. That’s why we shouldn’t waste our lives nor our time thinking about death (or not too much anyway…). Can you imagine watching a movie and spending the entire time thinking about when it’s going to end? Enough with my wonly metaphors lol xoxo

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    1. I absolutely loved your analogy & you’re completely right. It’s like walking around with an umbrella waiting for it to rain! I definitely don’t let it ruin my day or anything, but it is a constant thought! So sorry about your dad too! Most wouldnt understand unless they went through it like you mentioned. Thanks for reading! πŸ™‚

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  2. I cried reading this. I also watched my father die 5 years ago this coming Monday. I miss him so. Losing him ripped my heart out. I can relate completely to dreading the loss of your mother. That may be my undoing. Thank you for posting this. It helps to know I’m not alone.

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  3. I remember when I was a child, and my brother mentioned the existence of heaven and hell to me and he told me that we all have to die… I remember crying as a little girl there for hours. Death is so sure and it’s so scary so I can totally relate to how you’re feeling. *hugs*

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  4. When you see death of a near one, you start thinking about these things. Some years ago, had seen my grandpa die and so understand all this. Sorry to know about ur dad. I guess time is the best healer and as time passes, you forget things and so worry becomes lesser day by day

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  5. You are definitely not alone, I worry about death too. I believe we worry about it because there is so much we still want to do with our lives. And there is so much I want to do with my children. I loved reading this post, it really makes me think about how blessed and grateful I am just to be alive!

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  6. A very truthful post. I agree it is not something we prepare for at all. It is hard to accept and also scary to think about. I do believe they never leave our sides though and we just can’t see them!


  7. Such an honest post. I agree it’s something we are never really prepared for. I believe they are never really gone, they live on within us, in our hearts.


  8. I really liked this post as it is about something that affects us all. Whether we like it or not death will happen and it’s ok to be scared about it. One of my teachers used to advise us to prepare for our deaths and I now understand why this is. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I always think its weird that people don’t think about this more often. Our lives are both the longest and shortest of things we will ever do (unless you believe in reincarnation). I try not to let it get me stressed but its always there in my mind that I have to make the best of my life.

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    1. It’s really something to think about! I find myself thinking about it at the most random times then put myself in a whole mood. Lol! Thanks so much for reading! πŸ’“


  10. I’ve had a few loved ones pass on. I worry about the others going, but the one thing about respecting the finality of death is that you appreciate the moments more. You appreciate the ones you love more. πŸ’œ

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  11. This is so very true! I’ve lost both my mom and dad.. And being Agnostic, there is no comfort of heaven or hell. Only the daunting fact that everything comes to an end eventually and you never know when it will be someone you love or yourself. Very interesting post, I thought I was the only one thinking about death so much! Haha. Good luck xx

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    1. I am so sorry! I know the feeling of losing a loved one. Life can be unfair at times. Thanks so much for reading! Sending love your way. XoxπŸ’“


  12. Wow, this was intense. I’m really sorry to hear about your dad. I don’t think there’s a way to get over that fear of death in some ways, as I think (for me at least) it stems from the unknown – is there anything after? Will it happen quickly? When will it happen? etc. etc., but I’m trying to view it more as the way we view sleep – we live each day, then peacefully sleep after each one. Maybe death is like that – peaceful and comforting!
    Rhianna x

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  13. Death is a scary thing! I’m so sorry about your dad. My dad has been sick these past few years and we just got some more scary news, and that’s got me thinking about death a lot lately too. I’ve actually been reading more about death, and it’s actually given me that motivation to enjoy life. I don’t know what comes after (I’m a lapsed Catholic so if that stuff is true, I’m probably going to purgatory- or hell) but I’m just going to try to live life while I can, and like you said, spend time with my loved ones. And it’s not stupid at all! Death is real and scary and you’re brave for talking about your fears! I can definitely relate and I was actually relieved when I read your blog post ❀

    Emily |

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Reflective. And I agree that it all begins to sink in after a certain age and worries you in weird ways. Or seeing someone you know or love getting to their ends, just throws your eyes wide open.
    We have to start valuing each moment and not be bitter with our loved ones for long. I am sorry about your father..

    Liked by 1 person

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