We tend to use phrases like “until I die” or when people get married, one of the vows are “until death do us part.” But what does this even mean? How does anyone know what it’s like to experience death if we’re still alive? How can you say what will happen if you never even been? Does anyone else think about death daily? Because I do.
I find myself constantly wondering what will happen once my time is up. What will I see and where will I go? Is there really a heaven & hell? Will I burn forever with Satan or will I join my Dad and my other loved ones in heaven? Will my spirit live on or will I be reincarnated? THIS SHIT WORRIES ME!
I know I think too deeply into this at times. I’m not sure if it’s because of the passing of my father that has me so worried about death, but I never used to stress this as much as I do now. I worry about my mother, my boyfriend, and my close friends dying. Fuck, I worry about MYSELF dying. It’s not like anyone is prepared for that moment. Most of the time, it happens so suddenly and that alone scares me. There’s many things to achieve, but “life” can be taken away from you so quickly. It just makes me really sad to think about.
Every year we all grow older. I used to LOVE celebrating my birthday (I still do of course) but it just makes me realize that my mother is aging each year as well. I know it’s life and we all get old, but I can’t imagine losing my mom. She is the last I really have in this world as far as family and once her time is up, I’m not sure where I belong. That day will be hell on Earth for me. I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it now. Death is scary and I’m scared to die. I’m scared to watch the people I love die. I watched my father die. I cannot go through that again. I can’t.
And everyday, I worry about this….
It might be stupid to some, but others will understand.
Death is one of the realest parts of life. It’s a constant reminder that everything and anything you love can be taken away from you at any given time.
Always kiss your loved ones goodbye & never hesitate to tell them how much they mean to you…..
“The trouble is, you think you have time.”