The thought of being alone scares many people. Some even go out their way to make sure they are never alone at any given time. I understand the thought can be intimidating, but how are we to know who we truly are if we never spend time with ourselves? Alone?
I’ll admit, there were many times the thought of being alone scared me too. I didn’t want to do anything unless I had someone to do it with. It could be as simple as going shopping or running errands. I always felt the need of having someone there, but as I got older, I started to realize spending time alone isn’t so bad. I get to be selfish with my time and do what I want to do. I don’t have to check in with anyone or ask their thoughts about certain plans. I can just simply do them, but it’s not just about doing what you want to do. Spending time alone also helps you understand who you are as a person. It takes you out of your comfort zone and makes you do things you never thought you would do on your own.
When I first started my job in downtown Chicago, I knew I had to shake off the college student mentality and do some growing up. I used to skip lunch sometimes in college because I didn’t want to eat alone on campus, but there was no way I was going to continue doing that at my office job at 25. I remember the first time I went to grab lunch and sat on my own like many people around me. It wasn’t strange and I’m not sure why I used to tell myself these things. I was always so worried that people would look at me, but nobody even cared because it’s not out of the ordinary! People have to grab something to eat every so often, so why would it be weird to be seen eating alone? Many times our thoughts can be our worst enemy and we tend to overthink. That’s exactly what I was doing with my dilemma of eating lunch alone. I was so worried about looking weird or being by myself in general, but now I don’t even think twice. I’d be damned if I skipped lunch just because I had to “eat alone.”
Spending time with yourself is more than just eating alone, trips to the mall, or seeing a movie. It’s also about learning to love yourself and know who you are as a person. Do you really enjoy the things you do with your family and friends? Or do you just do them because it’s what they like and it’s familiar to you? Are you stuck in a routine or is this genuinely your lifestyle? When you separate yourself and do shit alone, you will be able to answer those questions.
Don’t stay in a situation just because you’re unsure of the future and don’t want to be alone. You only have one life to live, so why live it for anyone other than yourself?